How to Deal With Russian ‘girlfriend’ Already in the US. She Seems Nice but Feel I’m Being Led Astray?
Question by : how to deal with Russian ‘girlfriend’ already in the US. She seems nice but feel I’m being led astray?
my history with Russian women goes: met a married Russian woman who came on to me, in order to get me ‘hooked’ on her while her husband was away for months in drug rehab. I fell in love, thought she was trying to get away from him, all to find out she lied about almost everything and the day he got out of rehab was the day she threw me away like yesterday’s trash.
2 years later, I start doing yoga and trying to clear my mind/get rid of the baggage I carry around. Meet another Russian (Ukrainian) woman who SEEMED to be enlightened: vegan, claims no alcohol, claims age doesn’t matter, claims she’s very open. BUT at the onset she warned me that she is ‘exploring’ whatever that means, and that she wants no commitments because she doesn’t want to hurt anybody. UNDERSTOOD.
However over time she starts sending me signals like:
> You have a nice body (I reply thank you and said so does she)
> I love long, lean men. I bet you were always skinny.
> There are the usual touches on the knee, lots of non-verbal cues
> We talk about sex A LOT.Exchange fantasies, find out what each other is open to doing, a bit about what we’ve done in the past.
> I could go on but you get the point. We talk for HOURS sometimes, & are so at ease together. She seemed like this SO ENLIGHTENED of a person while I”m on my journey of yoga, meditation, cleansing of baggage. She also was married to a RICH american 30 years older than her like the 1st russian chick, got divorced, same old story as a lot of russian women (she’s 31 & I jam 44). We talk a lot, go out to eat (we alternate paying: her idea), I took her to a sauna treatment, told her how I wanted to see FWB movie BADLY when it opened last Friday. She canceled on me by saying her ex’s family invited her to dinner. But then she freed up Saturday & Sunday to spend with me which is rare. So Sat. we talk about things, THEN during the movie Saturday night ALL of the things we talked about came up in the movie (including “it’s not who you spend Fri night with it’s you spend all day Sat with”) She REALLY believes in signs & this seemed to reinforce that we are destined for each other. However, there is a sneaking suspicion in the back of my head that these ‘magical moments’ are staged: that she actually saw the movie the only possible day BEFORE seeing it with me. The first russian chick & I had a lot of magical moments, staged & otherwise.
Anyway, she will not let me kiss her. I am DYING to because I think I can tell everything I need to know with a kiss. She lets me kiss her forehead, she knows I love her (broke down and cried telling her on Sunday after things were going south). She said she already knew: I think that this is EE women tactic: play games with the man’s head & heart and get him to love you. After I told her I loved her, she said she wasn’t ready and that I needed to wait ONE YEAR. What for even one kiss? She claims to her that kiss & sex are a connection. And that she will NOT use me for sex: if she wants to use other men for sex she’ll just call up someone on the phone & say come over & **** me (that was SO hurtful). I said I can’t wait a year. She won’t say WHY this one-year thing. Anyway, she has a list she keeps on her fridge and looks at it every day in what she wants in a man which is NOT what she started off telling me:
> He needs to have no kids or kids already 18+ (check no kids)
> He needs to be vegan, or at most not eat meat in front of her (check, I went vegan Jan 1 2011)
> He can’t be a drunk (she changes her story about the last time she had a drink so I think she wants a double standard here)
> He can’t be fat (I will never be fat and am likely in the best shape of my life)
> he can’t smoke (I hate it too)
> has to be under 45
> no bipolar disorder like her ex (no bipolar here)
> HE HAS TO BE FINANCIALLY SECURE
> I understand this last point BUT that is not how it was advertised at first. In russia she was very young and married to a rich politician who broke her heart. She ran away from russia, moved here without knowing the language, eventually married rich american. She claims all that opulence & money ruins everything. But in our conversation over the weekend, it became very clear she desires $ $ . I took her to my house for the first time, showed her my basement full of very valuable collection: first words out of her mouth “who is going to get these if you die”. Then later followed by: “you are the only person I trust to carry out my will”.
I told her Sunday about some of my ideas for patents, making money etc. I told her I could make a load of $ $ if I wanted but i have no motivation to do so. Because i want a PARTNER to help me do it, then we would share everything equally. She said OPEN YOUR EYES, your motivation is in front of you. Several times that day we talked
Sorry for the weird organization of the question; apparently some of it got truncated.
Will try to fix but I’m starting to get the idea from the responses I”ve seen. And yes she is like a 10, but I am not far from that. Believe me I get my fair share of attention from women.
Looks like my cut/paste of additional information may fail. Wait this might work:
“Several times that day we talked about it. She said “money fixes everything”, then laid out $ 500k-$ 1MM needed. I THINK she wants me to be happy/possibly rich. But she’s hurting me”
The rest was supposed to be:
“Anyway, i truly think she wants me to be happy, and possibly rich. That would show her I’m worthy so she wouldn’t have to worry about buying her vegan food, shop a bit, etc etc. I think she doesn’t know what she wants. She knows she’s hurting me but not to the extent and venom that the 1st russian chick did. When we go out she forgets some of the things we talked about before, like I’m dating a twin or something. Or
Whoever wrote the response about hating Russia, I DO NOT hate russia. In fact I love the culture, love the women there, help as many EE women here in the US that I can. I don’t understand the need for head games. Anyone who has a personal question for me can private message me, I opened it up for that.
Best answer:
Answer by Zak
I’m not entirely sure what the question is here?
Is she just messing with your head? Probably. All women do.
Is she sincere? It’s not really something we can tell with such disorganized information massed together.
Is it worth your time? Honestly I wouldn’t waste my time on it, but I wouldn’t go three days without eating some kind of meat either, we obviously have different mindsets.
You’re already in your 40’s, you should be at an age where you can tell what you want, just do whatever it is you want.
Add your own answer in the comments!
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This is one of the saddest questions I’ve ever read. Sorry bro.
Dude, kick this girl back to the USSR as soon as humanly possible. She’s so shallow it’s ridiculous.
Look – I didn’t read your question as it was WAY too long, but I can tell you (from what I have read) that you need to stop persuing Russian/Ukrainian women. 99% of them are scam artists. They are interested in 2 things: your money and citizenship. Once they have secured that, you are of no use to them. Try to understand – they grew up in an impoverished, oppressive society. They wanted to get out of that and live the American dream. It’s become so much a part of their culture that it’s basically normal to use whoever you have to in order to get what you want.
There are some basic red flags that you seem to continually miss:
1. She seems into you even though you’re MUCH older than she is.
2. She has a history of being in relationships with American men that somehow “didn’t work out” (in other words, she bilked them for all they were worth and has moved on)
3. She’s a perfect 10 and you’re not – ‘nough said.
4. She falls in love incredibly fast – conversation, notes, texts are overly tender for how little she knows about you. Think about it – a woman who is sincere wants to get to know a guy gradually and the more beautiful she is, the less desperate she is. If she’s behaving in this overly desperate way right from the start, you know you’re being played. This applies to talk of sexual fantasies early on as well.
5. She talks about a need for money – no matter what it’s for. She’ll often talk about expenses or various costs that she’s incurred for citizenship, etc. If she hints that she needs money from you, run.
Those are a few big ones. Remember – pretty much any Russian/Ukrainian woman you meet is the same way. I know that sounds like an unfair generalization, but stories like yours prove it time and again. Stop wasting your time with these women. If living out a fantasy with a beautiful woman who really isn’t into you means so much, then just go to strip clubs – it would be cheaper for you. If there’s any part of you that actually wants something real, then start dating women who live in your own country.
i know exactly how that is there is alot of people out there who just wanna take from people without deserving it.even if i had the hottest guy ever and he was a smooth talker. i can see past the bs.and those are alot of cool things to show the guy is a decent guy but nobody is perfect.she knows all the things she wants from experiencing them she has been burned she is a cold fish
Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?