HELP! My 16yr Old’s 5th Court for Underage! PLEASE HELP ME!!!!?
Question by Jessica: HELP! My 16yr old’s 5th court for underage! PLEASE HELP ME!!!!?
[rewrite]First of all – if you don’t have any actual, helpful advice – don’t reply.
My 16 year old is going to court for his 3rd under age drinking, 2nd possession of marijuana and/or paraphernalia. I’ve tried everything to help him/get him to stop. I’ve taken off work to make sure he stays home – to the point that my job is in jeopardy. He bing drinks to the point of blacking out – so he told me. I wake up to go to work and they’re are 16 year old’s all over my basement (promptly kicked out) – wreaking of alcohol. I find bottles of booze hidden all over the house (which I make him dump out). The last time the police brought him home after an ambulance was called – he was passed out on the side of a road. The ambulance cleared him and the police brought him home. To my dismay, when I told them what the past year had been like and that I just didn’t know what to do anymore – they said I HAD to take him. Each court appearance (in Wisconsin) leaves me more hopeless than before – they just reduce the fine. The last was $ 250 – reduced to $ 75! (No – I don’t pay his fines!) And he still has his license! (No – he’s not allowed to drive my car).I’ve talked to treatment places, counseling, therapy, boot camps, boys camps … they all tell me the same thing – he has to go voluntarily (which he won’t… I’ve made countless appointments) or court ordered. I have a younger daughter in the house and I’m scared to death of what this craziness is doing to her!!! I KNOW what it’s doing to me! I’m not the perfect mother – I’ve made lots of mistakes, but I am a good mom. I put restrictions on him, but when I go to sleep or to work … he’s gone. I finally had it and gave him the choice – stop drinking and smoking dope … or get out. The hardest thing I’ve ever done – but I can’t condone or allow what he’s doing, and I can’t watch it anymore… and apparently I can’t stop it.! I wasn’t suprirsed when he chose to leave – but my heart was broken, I feel like I’ve given up on him – I HAVEN’T!!!! (He’s been staying with friends in the same town – I’ve called all his friend’s parents and asked them to let me know – they are also dealing with similar issues with their own kids). I’ve called Social Services and they were surprised they hadn’t been involved by the police yet. Me too! Don’t know what they can do to help … I just know I need help! He hasn’t been involved in any violenc or property damage – I’m getting the feeling that THAT has to happen before the courts get more involved. I just want some help for him BEFORE that happens, I just need some help!
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Best answer:
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Answer by Beauty Queen
Therapy
Ask a doctor for meds
Get him a babysitter for when your at home
Confescate his keys phone computer ect.
Kick him out on the street (no matter how painful)
Answer by Lauren
as an 18 year old who had a similar past to your son (more with marijuana than alcohol but both), and my parents sent me to two drug treatment/counseling places and i thought that they were a waste of time and from my friends that were sent to real rehab (like the month long ones) that it just pissed them off (since it was for alcohol and weed instead of hard drugs like heroin) and its just a place that makes you want to use drugs even more and gives you more contacts if your ever looking
when i got arrested it kind of scared me straight for a while
but i went back to it
the only thing that made me really stop using it ( or only to sleep) was when i had my medication changed to seroquel (it also could have been that i tried acid around then) and it just ruined the high for me and made me anxious and i stopped on my own
i think they need to have some reason to not use drugs
and since he is using drugs around everyday it is most likely to escape from some problem that he has (anxiety or depression or something) so you might try therapy
since he is only 16 i think you do have the right to put him into treatment (he should not have to go willingly) you could try sending him to one of those bootcamp places
my parents also threatened me with calling the police on me if i had anything in their house ( i didnt think they would so that didnt scare me much, but were you to follow through on it once (id go with calling in underage drinking because the fines for that are less than for paraphernalia/possession))
hell change eventually its just adolescence, but itll be a pain to deal with and his sister shouldnt be subjected to that
good luck
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