How Can You Tell the Difference Between Addiction to Relationships or Addiction to the Person?

Question by megangorex: How can you tell the difference between addiction to relationships or addiction to the person?
I’m doing a project for school about addiction to relationships, and I’m going through a really hard break up right now. I almost think I might have an addiction to relationships, but I can’t tell if I’m addicted to the relationship or the person I was in one with. How can you tell?

Best answer:

Answer by dsayless
I think addiction to relationships refers to people who need to be in a relationship at all times, regardless of who it is with–they just can’t bear to be alone. Whereas addiction to a particular person is when a person is so hung up on one specific partner that they cannot see the world through their own eyes anymore, but filter everything through what they believe their partner’s like & dislikes to be.

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21 Responses to How Can You Tell the Difference Between Addiction to Relationships or Addiction to the Person?

  • patricia m says:

    Bless your heart,
    I know this hurts like hell! I have dealt with this issue a lot. I believe that I have an addiction to relationships in general, (be it a boyfriend or a best friend or a therapist, etc), as well as getting an addiction to one person.
    Also, however, this might not be an addiction, but just a broken heart and grief over losing someone you have loved.
    I personally have done this repetitively, looking for the one person who will more or less “heal my soul”; I have done it with my husband (gave up on that one), a best friend, a therapist, and most recently my 12 step sponsor.
    One book that has helped me a lot is “Letters from Women Who Love Too Much” (“a closer look at relationship addiction and recovery”) by Robin Norwood. This book helped me a LOT more than the original book “women who love too much”.
    Know that you are a worthwhile person, this pain will eventually pass, and you will find joy and love again. Best wishes for your happiness and health.

  • bloody says:

    Addiction to a relationship is being addicted to having a relationship any old relationship ( no matter how bad it is)

    And addiction to the person is wanting them. Not just so you will be in a relationship but , becouase you will have them – the person

    hope this helps and you get a A* on that project

  • ElephantDrunk says:

    12 steps is bullshit. this is a good video? though bro. thanks. you seem like a good guy.

  • swk258 says:

    Good program, man. Thank you for sending me this. I have shared it on both Facebook and Twitter and I think in the future, if I know anybody who struggles with addiction, I’ll tell them about your? site.

  • miket1m says:

    “After they have succumb to the desire again, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well known stages of a spree emerging remorseful with a firm resolution not? to drink again. This is repeated over and over and unless this person can experience an entire physic change, there is little hope for his recovery.” ~ William D. Silkworth a prominent doctor in the field of alcoholism is telling us the medical community cannot help us. Our only hope is a spiritual transformation.

  • miket1m says:

    “If when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you’re probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience can conquer.” ~Page 44. 1par, line 4
    Key word ~ “only”
    “If that be the case, you may be? suffering from an illness which “only” a spiritual experience can conquer.”

  • TheCadstar says:

    Keep up the good? work. Ur genuineness in helping humanity is obvious. I wish u all the best. <3

  • timm9 says:

    sex addiction is one? of the worst in times we live in today.

  • inceptionsd says:

    You’re a nice guy, i can see that very? clearly.

  • Picaro1 says:

    If it is a choice, I am happy as an addict. JUST GET OFF MY BACK, I am not interested in carring politically repressive and oppresive comi type lack of freedom syndrome, that politicians suffer from in order to control everyone elses behavior(exept their own).Let’s make driving illegal after all it kills lots of people every year.Everyone use mass transitnow? you ASSASSINS.

  • Picaro1 says:

    Ain’t it cute,everyone has an opinion about what is or is not addiction and all kinds of claims for which they have not one iota of evidence. Everyone has an opion,but it has never occured to all of this psychoprofessional types to start using science like we do all other medical treatment.Addicts are? not so special, we respond to effective treatment, the same way that you take an aspirine for your headache or an antibiotic for an infection.The problem,noone test anything in substance disorders.

  • kevphillips02 says:

    There are no quick fixes to addictions, it is a long? painfull daunting process so do not beleive anyone or anything that tells you otherwise. To find ones true self and to start to have boundries and to start saying no is a very rewarding thing. To become individual and to not people please is the best thing i could have wished for.

  • gravelandgrain100 says:

    12 steps don’t work…period. I? have to accept god in order to have sobriety…Bull shat. I believe in myself. I prefer a more Eastern approach in finding myself and controlling my place in the universe.

  • burpo says:

    Twelve step is? ingenious.

  • Rachaelnw31548 says:

    I actually dont have an addiction to? any substance. I deal with severe obsessive compulsive disorder. It’s destroyed my life and my relationships. I’ve tried so many different treatments including the twelve steps at my church. It didn’t really help. I can barely live. I dont really know what to do. :'(

  • Scrabbler27 says:

    Thanks. I need help stop eating junk food and start eating? healthy food. I don’t want diabities or have cancers. I really want to get to 9 stone. ( I am currently 10 1/2 stone) Thanks

  • hanacat1000 says:

    thanks for sending me the link to this.. pretty interesting happy birthday? :p

  • AREVERB says:

    nice video, yea i’ve been? in a battle with extreme anxiety for years and my life feels restricted pretty much given up, been everywhere for help but see no hope.

  • gina2190 says:

    I,m sorry to say this but you sound a bit like you have a God complex, maybe i am wrong however you have given no credentials as to what your expert field is. What makes you able to help someone else or feel you even can, If your genuine i would have expected to hear you talk in more depth about how you would help. Some people only help others because it gives? them a sense of power and stops them looking at themselves.You sent me this video ? i hope you did actually help someone ? Kind regards.

  • Formidablefoe says:

    Happy Birthday dude. Doesn’t seem like it, but I do have a food addiction and? am a still sufferer of Bulimia Nervousa. I’ve destroyed every mirror in my home but still use food as a crutch. I’ve gotten better day by day however do appreciate advice.

  • disposablefreedom says:

    Happy Birthday.. I’ve been addicted/co-dependent to pain killers for 15 years after a really bad car accident.. I’m workin on slowly coming off of them over a period of time. I just? am tired of having to have them to function all the time.. Wish me luck..

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