My Spouse Has Been Arrested, I Am Looking for Similar Stories to See How Others Dealt With the Stress?
Question by Patrick: My spouse has been arrested, I am looking for similar stories to see how others dealt with the stress?
My spouse was recently arrested for Grand Larceny in the 4th degree. Something was stolen at her work. She had a previous history of drug use, which she has been to rehab for and has since stopped using. After she stopped using, she started gambling instead. Due to her history, and somebody placing her near the ‘scene of the crime’ they had enough probable cause to arrest her.
She denies the claims, and I believe her at this time, but there have been trust issues in the past due to her drug use. I am sticking by her now, especially because we have two kids. It makes it hard to run away. Our lawyer says the case looks weak at this time, but who knows where it will end up?
I did not approve of her drug use and told her it would eventually lead to an arrest. I am trying to believe her that she did not do it, but it is very hard. I guess I am just hoping that she has hit rock bottom, and that no matter what happens, it will get better. She seems to know that she has messed up and states she wants to start over.
I am really just looking for stories or resources from others that may have been in a similar situation. Did you stick with your spouse? What did you do if they were convicted and went to jail? How do you explain the situation to your kids? (ages 4 & 6). Should I just cut her loose now and file for divorce? Take the kids and start over? Things were not always like this. The issues started when she started using. I would give anything to get back to how things were then. Anything will help. Thank you.
Best answer:
Answer by katlin
It’s sad to see a mother to drugs. My husband and I can’t have kids, so it just makes me wonder why woman are blessed with such love & not use it to te fullest . My husband was charged with theft when were younger, I stayed with him because I loved him. He was facing up to six years.. I wasn’t ready for him to go to jail, but it had to happen I guess. Just tell your children mommy went a way for a little while ( its not like she can’t call in jail, or write letters) & when they get older or start asking, that’s when you tell them. Running away never solves anything.. Ever good luck!!
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I commend you on your positive attitude. you know in your gut if she is lieing or not, trust that, and go from there
Okay let’s start with her drug use. She has had treatment and got clean. She isn’t using drugs, but replaced gambling as a different addiction. If you don’t stick by her, and give her the benefit of doubt then she will give up. She says she didn’t do it, so believe her until you find out different. Listen to her lawyer, it is a weak case. Did you ever stop to think that someone set her up because she could be because of her past history. Now is not the time to be thinking of divorce, but to clear her name, unless you are using this as an excuse to get away from her. If you have not been to any treatment centers to find out about addiction, then find one that will explain addiction to you. I say stand by her and show your children that love is unconditional, and if they ever need you you won’t judge them like you are doing to their mother. People make mistakes, but that is not reason to throw they to the wolves. I hope your love for your children’s mother is strong enough to help her through this terrible time.