Relationship After Drug/alcohol Abuse?

Question by hopelesslydevoted: Relationship after drug/alcohol abuse?
[rewrite]My boyfriend of almost 2 years began showing signs of a drinking problem about 6 months ago. He was arrested while drunk for disorderly conduct. After that, he stopped drinking so much, but began again during a visit with his family. He then really kicked his butt out of drinking. However, I recently found out that he traded his alcohol addiction for a meth addiction. He is now in jail after failing a drug test at a hospital b/c he was having feelings of paranoia and anxiety and thought it was a psychological problem–it’s not, it was part of his drug abuse. I’d love some advice on how to move on with my life. We had plans to get married, and I’m just crushed to know of all the lies and deceit that took over this relationship. I still care for him and want to help him but know I NEED to move on with my life without him. Any advice or suggestions of where to seek advice would be much appreciated.

Thanks.
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Best answer:
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Answer by d
this is something pretty tough to deal with. i suggest that you talk to a counselor. i know you still love him but you must cut him out of your life. meth is a terrible drug. and if he is on it he is not the person that you knew before. drug addicts lie and steal and continue to do so even after the addiction is gone.

Answer by ana c
You’re doing the right thing, I’m glad it didn’t take you years to know that you have to move on, he is just starting, so he is in the beginning of a downward spiral, that you or he cannot control. So the best thing to do, is focus on yourself. Please know, this was not in any way your fault, you should in no way feel like he and his drug use is a reflection of you, and please know that you did not fail anyone, you could only help those who want to be helped, and a person can bend over backwards and peel their knees from praying so much, but ultimately the decision is theirs, and if they are not ready to stop using drugs, believe me they wont, and this is where the lies come in, so just tell yourself everyday that you did the right thing for leaving, don’t focus on the good times in your relationship cause you will drive yourself crazy, focus on you and the life you have, seek counseling if you have to, do not accept his phone calls, do not give him a chance to beg for you back, know that you deserve better than he can ever offer you, and that frankly your worth having someone who is sober and clean. Move on with your life, and believe me one day whether it takes 1 year or twenty years, you will find the right man for you.
Good Luck!
P.S. I was in a relaintionship with a drug addict, I thought I could change him and help him, but I couldnt 10 years later I have a beautiful family, and he is still getting high, in and out of jail, u made the right choice.

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